A woman insulted my daughter and me over a long period. Among other things, she called us sluts. Fundamentally, she does this because she is very dissatisfied with herself. But she touches on something deeply rooted in our society. On the one hand, she accuses us of having many changing sexual partners. Why? Because we dress and move freely, because tattoos adorn our bodies. However, she doesn’t know me at all, and even less so my then 16-year-old daughter, who hadn’t even had a boyfriend up to that point. She doesn’t know my value system; she doesn’t know my worldview, and she doesn’t make any effort to engage with me. She completely rejects me. Yes, she doesn’t even insult me or us directly; she complains about us to others, again and again.
Born out of frustration, she resorts to a learned method: that women are only worth something if they keep themselves “pure,” without realizing that she is degrading herself with this insult. Following this pattern as a woman means accepting these rules. It means accepting a subordinate position in society compared to men.
I am very proud of my daughter and happy that she loves herself and wants to show it. But is that right? What has my daughter had to learn through me? Because what this woman also doesn’t know is that my daughter had me as her role model. She had a mother who was sexually abused and therefore completely misguided. She had a mother who thought she was only worth something if she presented herself as sexually available. What sad role models are people like me for children? After I was able to work through my story, I was finally in a position to become a proper role model for my daughter and to work through her upbringing as well. Today, we can talk about everything. Just today, I am able to truly stand by her side and be a real role model.
How sad that people feel the need to judge others without knowing even a hint about them.
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